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雅思作文帮忙修改打分Asthetimepassesby,internationalityaffectsnotonlybusinessorotherareawefamiliar,butalsomusic,anoldartwhichhavemoreandmoreinfluencedbyhightechnology.Manyargumentsaretakenaboutwhichonehavemo
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雅思作文帮忙修改打分

Asthetimepassesby,internationalityaffectsnotonlybusinessorotherareawefamiliar,butalsomusic,anoldartwhichhavemoreandmoreinfluencedbyhightechnology.Manyargumentsaretakenaboutwhichonehavemoreimportance,ourowncountry'straditionalmusicortheglobal-heard-music?Ithinkbothofthemarevaluable,andneithershouldberegardedhigher.

Ontheonehand,mordenmusicisverycrucialtomordenpeopleinmordensociety.Anyonelivedinthisworldneedsneo-music,soasoursociety.Gangnan-style,thefamousmusiccreatedbykoreanstarwasplayedeverywhereontheEarth.Manyotherinternationalmusictransferwidely,too.Inthissituation,howcanonesaystheInternationalmusicisnotimportant?

Ontheotherhand,traditionalmusiccouldstillplayabigroleineverydaylife.Firstofall,theoldartdonotmeetsciencewhentheyareborn,butitnotmeanstechnologycannothelpthem.Secondary,oldmusicisenjoyableastheyeverwas,audienceoftraditionmusicincludesbotholdandyoungpeople.Forthelast,tranditionalmusicstandsforthepastofthecountry,meansthehistoryofus,holdsthememoryofourancients.Intheconclusion,tranditionalmusicisveryimportanttous,althoughwestepinamordenworld.

Soallinall,Ibelievetranditionalandinternationalmusiccouldinvolveinoursociallifefitful,boththetwokindofthemusicarecrucialtousandweshouldtraitthemfairly.

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  Theessaywaswellwritten.Ifyoucompleteditwithinthetimegiven,Itwouldbewelldone.Youcouldachieveamark6+withit.However, therearestillroomstoimprove.Ihopeyoukeepworkinghard.Mark7isachievableforyou.Goodluck!   Asthetimepassesby,internationalityaffectsnotonlybusinessorotherareawefamiliar,butalsomusic,anoldartwhichhavemoreandmoreinfluencedbyhightechnology.   Asthetimepassesby,internationalityaffectsnotonlybusinessand   othersectorswearefamiliarwith,butalsothemusic,anoldartwhichhasbeeninfluencedmoreand   morebymordenhightechnology.   Manyargumentsaretakenaboutwhichonehavemoreimportance,ourowncountry'straditionalmusicortheglobal-heard-music?   Quitemanyargumentshavebeenraisedaboutwhichoneismoreimportant,ourowncountry'straditionalmusicorthemusicfromothercountriesthatisgloballypopularmusic?   Ithinkbothofthemarevaluable,andneithershouldberegardedhigher.   Inmyopinion,bothofthemarevaluable,andIdon'tthinkeithershouldberegardedassuperiortoanother.   Ontheonehand,mordenmusicisverycrucialtomordenpeopleinmordensociety.   Ononehand,mordenmusiciscrucialtopeopleofthemordensociety.   Anyonelivedinthisworldneedsneo-music,soasoursociety.   Mostpeopleliveinthisworldneedsuchneo-music,sodoesoursociety.   Gangnan-style,thefamousmusiccreatedbykoreanstarwasplayedeverywhereontheEarth.   Gangnan-style,thefamoussongandmusiccreatedbyakoreanstarhasbeenplayedeverywhereontheEarth.   Manyotherinternationalmusictransferwidely,too.Inthissituation,howcanonesaystheInternationalmusicisnotimportant?   Manyothermusicalworkdonebypeoplefromdifferentcountrieshavealsospreadwideinternationally.CanonesimplysaytheInternationalmusicisnotthatimportantuptothesituation?   Ontheotherhand,traditionalmusiccouldstillplayabigroleineverydaylife.   Ontheotherhand,thetraditionalmusiccanstillplayabigroleinourdailylife.   Firstofall,theoldartdonotmeetsciencewhentheyareborn,butitnotmeanstechnologycannothelpthem.   Firstofall,theoldartdidn'tenjoymuchofthemordentechnologyasitappearedearlier.Howeveritdoesn'tmeanitcanbe immunefromtheimpactofthemorderntechnology.   Secondary,oldmusicisenjoyableastheyeverwas,audienceoftraditionmusicincludesbotholdandyoungpeople.   Secondary,oldmusicisstillenjoyableastheyhaveever been,thepublicfavorersofthetraditionalmusichaveexpandedfromtheoldtotheyoung.   Forthelast,tranditionalmusicstandsforthepastofthecountry,meansthehistoryofus,holdsthememoryofourancients.   Finally,thetranditionalmusicstandsforthepastofacountry,presentsthehistorytousandbringsus thememoryofourancients.   Intheconclusion,tranditionalmusicisveryimportanttous,althoughwestepinamordenworld.   Inconclusion,tranditionalmusicisstillveryimportanttous,althoughwehavestepped   intoamordenworld.   Soallinall,Ibelievetranditionalandinternationalmusiccouldinvolveinoursociallifefitful,boththetwokindofthemusicarecru
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